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VIEWING 1 - 10 OUT OF 16 TOTAL
Dec. 13 2007
DATE: 13 Dec 2007, 5:43 pm / MOOD: Angry
The last few months have been hell on me. I left everything I know and the people I loved. I couldn't do it anymore right then. I had a chioce get on the bus or stay and try to work though the hell i was going though. I was breaking down mentelly and I just wasn't going to hold on longer. See at the time I made arangements to come down to NC for a while to get my head straite. I thought me and my gf at the time were though from the last time. I wasn't with her long like my last one before her. The one before was on and off again relationship for almost 4 years. That one was for more out of lust then anything else I do belive. It wasn't love. When we finally broke up for good I was doing my own thing. I was living with roomates. Worked at a good job. Partied when I could. Times I come home and find a party. Then I started to hang out with this girl named Rachel. She lived up stairs from me. Now imagen a girl that is 26 years old hispanic and native americain that is 5 foot one and her body is like an hour glass. she is hot. White skin like the moon lite and her eyes and hair dark has the night it self. I was in huh while I hanged out with her. I would be there before work after work on my days off. She had a husband but they were getting a divorce. To tell you the truth I didn't think I had much of a chance with here. She has two kids. one a year old and the other 2 year old. They loved being around me and I liked being around them. At the time she lived above but I was hardly home in my apartment. My roomate would ask me when I was going to hang out with them at some point. I was making 800 to 1000 a month part time and I was only paying 300 a month plus my cell phone. I was living it up. Rachel and I wonded up together. It was great in the begainning and then we wanted to get a apartment together. That was ok. It was working out just find until around 4th of july. That is a lot of things hit the fan. She started to hang out with a guy that I really didn't like all that much. I was getting pissed. So unstand of hurting her feels and I did tell her I didn't like her hanging around him he was bad news. I didn't tell her that she couldn't instead I started to drink very heavly. I went to work sober but soon I was down work I hit the bottle. It was a wrong move on my end. I got my self into a lot of trouble. I was at the bar alot and having fun. The something happen. She went to the hospital and almost died. She drink some tea and didn't know excitly what it was or what is in it. So I stopped drinking and she know she did wrong. But because of what she did we still didn't have enough money to get an apartment. I was sleeping on friends couchs because my roomate left because they were having a baby and I didn't want to keep the apartment. The naborhood was a bad place. I didn't want her kids there any more. I was save up mad money. She didn't tell me that she spent a lot of the money on gods knows what. I was giving up my whole pay checks damn it to get a place. The last time I got the numbers that was saved up was 1600 and that was before the 4th of july. She said that she got 3 months a tanf and that we are 200 shy and the time she told me this was the day before I left. I quit my job and was ready to go. Now that I think of it. I wish she got a hold of my soonner then then. Or I would still be there with her. I am angry at my self because toward the end I was in the wrong not her. She was trying to make for it and I was too angry and depressed to see it until it was too late. We talk here and there though yahoo messeger. She told me "if fate brings us back together lets be more honest with each other and try to do it better then last time" A part of me hopes that happens but right now I have to find my self.
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None
DATE: 20 Apr 2006, 9:40 am / MOOD: Other
 | You scored as Blood. Your turn on is blood. You adore the colour, the taste, the texture, the thickness... everything. You probably like to bite/to be bitten. Sex isn't sex without the ecstasy of blood.
Whips | | 100% | Biting | | 100% | Chains/Handcuffs | | 100% | Blood | | 100% | Bondage | | 100% | Blind Folds | | 83% |
What's Your Kinky Turn On?
created with QuizFarm.com |
They would let me have all of it. So I had to pick blood one. I don't what it is but blood just.....can't explain it.
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None
DATE: 20 Apr 2006, 9:39 am / MOOD: Other
| You scored as Blood. Your turn on is blood. You adore the colour, the taste, the texture, the thickness... everything. You probably like to bite/to be bitten. Sex isn't sex without the ecstasy of blood.
Whips | | 100% | Biting | | 100% | Chains/Handcuffs | | 100% | Blood | | 100% | Bondage | | 100% | Blind Folds | | 83% |
What's Your Kinky Turn On?
created with QuizFarm.com |
They would let me have all of it. So I had to pick blood one. I don't what it is but blood just.....can't explain it.
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Butt
Butt
How I am going to die
DATE: 08 Mar 2006, 8:57 am / MOOD: Dont know
 | You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it. Several important people in history share your fate.
Posion | | 87% | Suicide | | 73% | Disappear | | 73% | Stabbed | | 73% | Eaten | | 67% | Suffocated | | 67% | Gunshot | | 60% | Accident | | 60% | Cut Throat | | 53% | Drowning | | 33% | Bomb | | 33% | Disease | | 20% | Natural Causes | | 13% |
How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com |
I guess what is how I am going to die.
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whatever
DATE: 10 Feb 2006, 11:33 am / MOOD: Dont know
Well lets see what happen in the last few days. Well got in a fight with my mom this morning. I am having a hard time getting a job. I am trying to go back to school so I can get a better job. Going it Web Developement/web design/mulitmedia. Belive me that is all going to be in one degree. I love working on websites. I just need to know more then I do now.
This Valintes day is going to suck. I am not going to have anyone to spend it with. I think I am begining to hate that day. I just wish I can just have my ex-gf back and/or find someone that will take care of me and be there for me. To tell you the truth I really don't know what I am looking for. I just hope something will come along. I thing I just might stay out of the whole dating game thing for a while until I know what I am really doing. Do you thing so???
Well anyway wish me good luck.
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thought so
DATE: 06 Feb 2006, 10:08 am / MOOD: Dont know
Well I had a good time this week end. I watched the super bowel and of course my team won STEELERS!! I am happy they won. I did get drunk and high this week end. I had lots of fun then again all I could do most of the times was thinking about Tina (the gurl I love but not with anymore). We used to partty all the time together. I started crying this morning about it. What can I do??
Well anyway I say this personitly test on one of the profiles and I took it. This is what it come out to:
YAY!
DATE: 04 Feb 2006, 8:12 am / MOOD: Other
Well I got drunk last night. I had lots of fun. We started out at my friends house, then went to the grill, and then Down on Main Street (that is a name for a restrant/bar). There was 10 of us. We were dancing and singing. Just having a good old time. We all crashed at my friends house. I got maybe 5 hours asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night sober and no hang over after two hours asleep. Sometimes I really hate that.
Tonight I guess we are going to greenville to hit a new club or something up there. I really don't know though.
Well my cat is missing. I have no clue where the damn thing is. I let him out yesterday at 1PM and still hasn't came home. I don't know if got hit by a car or put in the pound or some person took it in their house. I wish I know. That is our last cat. I don't want to get a new one. My mom been looking for the cat last night. I didn't know the cat was missing until I was already out or I would be looking for the cat. I am really going to miss that cat if it is gone for good.
Well that is what happen last night. I talk to you all later.  
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what is going on
DATE: 28 Jan 2006, 8:08 am / MOOD: Other
Well, right now I am working on getting more people on to join to this website. Most of the time that is what I am working one when I am online.
Well, I am going to try to get more resent pictures me up online. I have a perosn that has a digital camera and they want me to help them learn frontpage (which is a web design progam if some of you don't know which I am sure a lot of people already know what it is). So I am going to see if they will take pictures of me so I can put newer pics up. Hopefully I can and I even have some down out side so you can see the nice weather out side that I am having in Janaray. Which is kinda weird for me to even not see snow and then again I am used to being in maine not in North Carilona. I wish I was back in the snowyville of maine. I know before the end of the year is out I will be back in maine.
For now I got to run. 
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