I see that a lot of people(in my area especially) are aready getting all pumped up and excited bout March 17th... (St. Patrick's Day)..... Even all the damn stores are goin NUTS with the friggin merchandise. I mean I'm not really complaining.... I love Irish stuff.. Green is my favorite color and I'm bout 83% (or more) Irish so this' a special thing to me (plus I am a lil bit of an alkie lol)...

But did any of you know that the first St. Patrick's Day parade wasn't even in Ireland but in the U.S... and it was only for the Irish people serving in the English military? They supposedly wanted to reconnect with their roots since they were so far from home. Actually drinking used to be outlawed in Ireland on this day.. Pubs were closed and everything.

And I know you've probably all at least HEARD of the 'Blarney Stone' ..and the joke that Irish men/women piss on it.. so don't kiss it when you go to see it... right? Well that's true... but does anyone even know the legend behind the Blarney Stone??

An old woman cast a spell on a stone in the wall of the Blarney Castle Tower. It was as a reward for the king for saving her from drowning.. and when the king kissed the stone it gave him the ability to speak convincingly (meaning he got whatever the fuck he desired heh). But don't think it's easy to get to either.... you actually have to lie on your back, while holdin bars.. and bend backwards.. or hold the bars and try to bend down far enough. It's complicated.

ANNNND... did you know that St. Patrick wasn't even BORN in Ireland.. he was born in Britain and captured and kinda enslaved by Irish raiders err whatever and just became a patron saint of Ireland after becoming a devout Christian out of fear (supposedly the religion was all he felt he could turn to). Also, out of everyone I've asked bout it.. no one seems to even know that it is the anniversary of his DEATH that we celebrate every year. Ugh.. c'mon PEOPLE! know why you're gettin shit faced and partying like a mad man/woman!!

And here comes the BIG SHOCKER!

Green is a HATED color in Ireland... it is the main color of the old flag from when they were not free people. The U.S. just adopted it for this celebration thingy cuz of it bein the color of clovers ..actually I'm guessing on that one... cuz even Irelands Leprechauns don't wear green.. it's mostly browns and golds.

WHICH BRINGS ME TOO:

Leprechauns... they are FAIRIES.. more specifically lil old men that make shoes for the fairies, but still considered fairies themselves. They say you can find them by following the sound of their lil hammers as they make the shoes. And they only get bout 2  - 2&1/2 feet tall... so they're like dwarfs.. not midgets lol. 

Now.. what next what next... OH

'corned beef and cabbage'... heard of it? well it's rubbish... at least the corned beef part is. It'd be more like Irish Stew or bacon/ham and cabbage.

Mmk.. now I shall leave you with a few lil jokes my mother used to tell me when she was 1st telling me bout my heritage and stuff.. *ahem*

--What do you call an Irish Man that knows how to control his wife?

a bachelor

--Definition of an Irish Husband:

he hasn't kissed his wife in 20 years but he'll kill any man that does

--"Courtship" is when a girl decides whether she can do better or not!

so yea.. anyway *holds up glass for a toast*

Here's to absent friends and here's twice to absent enemies *chugs* ahhhh... mmk.. bye bye now lads and lasses

AND REMEMBER!

When St. Patrick's Day arrives and you're wasted and someone tries to throw some drama your way... fuck em up all you can... but let your anger set the sun and not rise again with it..... it's bad luck...

--Raven the FoxX

hmm.. so.. i dunno why i'm up this damn early.... and drinking at that! *raises wine bottle* i got tired of doin the classy thing and goin back and forth to refill my glass...... so i just grabbed the bottle... makes it a lot easier.

so i'm tryin to find a NEW job... i'm still at the pathetic gas station (hey it's a job.. some $ is better than no $) ...but i think i found my dream job! *flutters eyelashes* i submit my resume bout two days ago... haven't heard back yet but they're not closin the opening until the 27th.. so they probably haven't even gotten to lookin at em yet.. i'm just so impatient heh.

but yea.. it's for the Bartlett animal shelter *screams with excitement* lol how fuckin weird is it to be excited over somethin like that... well FUCK Y'ALL i'ma animal freak.... and i turn into one in bed RIGHT BABY!?!? *RAWWRRR* mmk.. lol

but yea.. 'excited' is an understatement i guess... but it'll either be somethin like that or i'll just end up bein a damn pharmacist (lotsa moneys!) which wouldn't be bad but C'MON! everyone wants there dream no matter what it is.. SO IF YOU WANNA BE A RODEO CLOWN THEN YOU GO FOR IT, MAN! EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH ANY ARMS OR LEGS... YOU FUCKIN GO FOR IT! WOOOOOO..

mmk.. well.. let's see.. what else is on my mind... i'm worried bout my man... i'm pretty damn sure he has sleep "Ap-knee-ah" lmao i dunno how to spell it i just know how to say it heh..

i dunno what he can do bout it though... they usually just put you in the hospital and run all kinds of tests and watch you for bout 3 days then they tell you what they think you need... but i don't want weirdos watchin my baby in his room while he's supposed to be tryin to sleep! lol.. plus i doubt he wants to sit in one room for 3 days and only allowed out to use the bathroom.... i'd go nuts and i have no problem sleepin! especially not in April 2006!! LOLOLOLOL!

mmk.. so yea.. I'M WORRIED! >_< bout all kinds of things! i actually think the reason i am clutching this bottle is cuz of last night... ugh ..you ever needed .. i mean REALLY NEEDED.. to talk to someone.. and you just sit there and go down the numbers in your phone trying everyone you feel safe enough to talk to and even some that you don't just to maybe hear someone's voice and it'll clear your head... just maybe...... and then no one's there. not a single person picks up or their friend/mother tells you they're asleep or whatever it may be, there's just no one there to talk to you...... in your desperate time of need... and it gets you thinking.... so many people and not one of them available when it counts... is it supposed to be this way... does someone out there want you to be alone and learn to deal with shit on your own....... are you just better alone.. or are they just tryin to tell you that this' how it'll be in the end... so learn now and get used to it...?

eh... and this' why i started this blog in the first place.. to get away from thinkin bout this..... great huh........... well it wasn't all lost... my 'would-be savior' of the night called me but i was too far gone to tell him that i had just spent the past 4-5 hours wallowing in my own emotional bullshit and the bottom of a few wine bottles and a 6 pack of smirnoff ..i'm surprised i even had two left this morning (the wine) though i'm on the 2nd one now...... ugh.. i'll tell him today... then he'll have more at his feet....... yay i'm a burden.. so lovely! *closes eyes and wishes last night would have turned out differently* he's gonna yell at me for not sayin somethin sooner... and i should be yelled at... what the hell was i thinking...... *takes another big drink*

time to face the music..? i think so...

wow.. there's actually a mood for this one.. well ...somethin like that anyway.

...so.. tell me....

how is it that you're off work and your boss still ends up calling you and shit... i've never had a boss that called 'just to talk' though. is that odd? it feels weird to me...

i work 2-10 pm today.. ugh *lays on the floor and thumps my forehead against it*

they made some new rules and shit... like we can't use our cell phones at all unless we're on our break... which i really don't anyway... if i answer it's to tell them i'm busy and i'll call back or cuz we're slow and no one's in there at all...... why are there so many rules at a GAS STATION anyway?? well, it's probably because Sonya stays with the phone glued to her face.

but now i gotta put my hair up and shit... grrrrrr... i love my long hair... it's long for a reason.. if i wanted it up all the time it would be short. and the one that's always gettin her hair in/on everything won't have to change a thing cuz her hair comes halfway down her ears..... so what does that fix? we'll all have our hair up and hair will still be all over everything... so what's next... want me to shave it? lol.. never gonna happen btw.... maybe hairnets... won't that be sexy... i think i could rock a hair net lmao.

now i'ma get more remarks about my tat now... everytime i wear a ponytail someone else discovers it and goes into the whole "i didn't know you had a tattoo... lemme see" ....."a barcode.. why did you get that?" ....then i gotta explain the significance of the numbers... then they're all .."lemme see if it scans" hehe.... not that i mind or anything... but Carl (my boss) looked at me funny when he was all "i didn't know you had a tattoo" and then i finished the conversation all "yep.. and it's a barcode and i got it cuz it has my lucky numbers on it and the birthdays of two whom will always remain close to my heart and yes... it will scan.... it just takes it a second and you gotta do it at an angle or it won't work... cuz of it bein skin i guess".... which i was guessing took care of everything he was gonna end up saying anyway lol. but he scanned it and got to hear it beep and got all excited so yay.... i make peoples day with my meaningful tattoo, woohoooooo me!

right.. hehehe....

i got a coupon for Barnes and Noble.. so tomorrow i'll most likely be heading there to take advantage of it... even though i have two books (well one and a half... i'm almost done with the one i'm reading now) left to read... but it expires by Sunday and i am working all weekend so.. yea..

 
..nothing but 'fun fun' for me i guess.. heh... though i can think of a lot of shit i would rather be doing.... *laughs devilishly* i'm sure there's quite a few needs i could be tending to in New York... *sighs* but such is life, right? no worries... soon ..it will be taken care of....

mmk well... that's all for now... gonna make me some breakfast.. ...well.. technically lunch but i woke up at 9:38 and i can't eat right when i wake... ugh.. it'll make me wanna puke.

mmk well... i'm up.. i've showered... i've fed the dogs/let them out to potty... and i have two hours before i have to be at Teri's house to take her to her doctor's appointment. heh... she's been dizzy and nauseous for bout a week and i keep teasin her that she's pregnant and she's freakin out lol ....that'd be hilarious.. Daniel would have a new lil brother or sister lol! ..not so good for his mom and dad since they're all excited to be havin the house to themselves now but eh.. we'll see today at her thingy.

don't have much planned for today besides the above and Carol wants me to go with her around 6 pm to help put a tree up for her friend (i guess the word's really gotten out how good i am at that ..or how insane it drives me lol).

i'm kinda hungry... hmmmmm...

oh.. never made it to Big Lots yesterday.. just got to read for bout 20 minutes and then everyone was beggin for me to join the lil tournament they were playin *thinks to self bout how i used to make jokes bout Gummi and his friends playin in those all the time* i ended up kickin everyones (cept Mel's) ass in video games.... she got lucky.. but she didn't beat me by much.. muahahaha! mmk well... i'm done... Wolfy keeps IMing me and it's makin me lose my train of thought anyways so... *waves*

you're with your man for YEARS...... you break up cuz of petty reasons you can't even friggin recall.... both of you seem to be headed on the path back into each others arms... you tell each other on practically a daily basis that you're in each others deepest hearts of desire and need.........

then you find out he was havin a conversation with another female bout how she's a nympho and shit.... is it justified that he engaged into the conversation cuz SHE brought it up??

to me it seems it shouldn't matter... if someone was talkin to me bout their sex habits i would just brush it off and try to change the topic.. maybe laugh or somethin but certainly not start tellin the guy bout all these sexual details bout me.......... never when someone else is in my heart.

..i guess i just feel betrayed.... jealous too.. why should she 'get her rocks off' over someone (who's in every aspect, except labeled, my man) just cuz he indulged her in a topic?

so it really leads back to jealousy... i don't want any woman bein happy cuz of my man.. heh... though technically... i have none.... right?

ugh... i hate this...

I have always thought myself to be an awesome (and no not in the conceited way) friend that a few (because I have a close-tight circle of friends) individuals would feel lucky to have at their backs.

well... I have felt that way, up until lately that is. It seems I am letting my rut take it's tole on my friends... one more so than the other. Neither of them live in the same state as me... one of them never did and the other one left to pursue a life that's hopefully bringing her mounds of happiness and doing her a world of good-- she needs it (yes you do.. so shut it!) ....the other... well... he's very special to me in my heart and he knows who he is. He's not as happy as he could be or as happy as he's been before..... and yes, i know everyone has their problems..... but the two I've mentioned in this blog are worth more to me than anyone else I have met. They are without a doubt the only true best friends i will have in this lifetime. Their places in my heart are never ending lines to the throne of my love. Our friendships have gone through all sorts of roads..... we've done everything from viciously fighting to going years without so much as a card/phone call... and whenever we happen to talk/meet up again.. within 5 minutes it's as if the years and time were never lost to us. So back to what I was saying... my slump has been inhibiting me from my 'duty' to my friends.... I always say 'I'm here whenever you need me' and I have always meant it... but am I really there when they need me? In the middle of the night if one of them tries callin cuz of something (I don't even care if it's a nightmare- it wouldn't bother me)... am I really there? It's so hard for me to sleep lately so I've taken to turnin off my phone... and I still make sure that I stay some sort of busy so I don't loose my mind but even though it is not near as much as it once was... does that make it any better if I'm still not there at the critical moment? I still have a lot of things to think about before I am any kind of "fixed" yet... so far whenever I call and really need them they have always picked up on it and came through for me. I owe them the same whenever they need it and recently I feel I have not delivered to the standards they deserve. You both have my regret and apology for that..... I have let myself get into the way and it's time I moved the 'all-consuming-gorgeousness' of my ass from y'all's face....... forgiven? lol heh... <3 you guys.