right.being in chat with a few oldies the other night. was spot on

really wanna get everyone (old skool) together in the chat. so im gonna try and arrange a night (or morning. depending on the time zone) where everyone has a couple of hours spare. can grab a few beers / whatever they drink. and chill out.

so everyone post a time when your free.. im gonna suggest sunday. because noone has college, or work on a sunday. any time, ill let you lot decide that. if you cant make it for any reason. say so. and ill see what i can do.

if you have anyone on your msn or yahoo. let them know aswell. get as many of us was we can together. VD ARMY! haha.

over n' out

Stevo.

so yesterday, me and terry tried the legal alternative to extacy. bought em from the local stoner shop (you know the kind, that sell bongs and pipes and a whole selection of papers) and fuck me, i was very doubtful that anythingwould happen, seeing as ive already tried the legal alternative to green, and all that gave me was a bad taste in me gob. anyway, popped em about 3:30 pm, by 4:30 was feeling a little something, so i thought spot on, they actually do something. by 5:15 i was off my trolley! fucking proper out of it, best high ive ever experienced. felt fucking fantastic, was in a happy, chatty mood, and i could really absorb music like i never had before. and talk about value for money! £8 for 2. and its now 9:30 am the day after. and i still feel fucked! (only had 2 hours sleep mind you) aww man i never need to buy green again! its fantastic, i would definately recmoend it to anyone who is interested in drugs. it is fucking amazing 11/10!

anyway, im off

over n' out

Steve.

got net at home now, so ill be chilling online a bit more good news over

now WTF is with all the new adds? gothic sluts? and sex dolls? ermm? thats... wrong...

anyway, cba to bitch anymore, layterz

Stevo. 

yoyo wasup,

                made my first published (kinda) title, its about anti-gang/knife/gun crime (needed to be educational, or wouldnt have got no funding for it) its called soul control, bare in mind if / when you play it, it was made in 3 months, with only 2 days of beta testing (fucking deadline) so theres quite a few bugs, and its not exactly call of duty graphics, but its my first work of hopefully many to come.. soulcontrolgame.co.uk its a free download, any questions or anything. message me or ask terry to ask me. all feedback is appreciated, good, coz it makes my head huge, bad, because i can learn from it (thats mainly so when meph tells me my games shit ive got a comeback alrdy ;P) 

layterz!

Steve 

w00t got my own flat, mine, all mine, noone elses, mine, i liove there, no family, me, just me and only me, and man does it feel great, yeah i dont have net, a computer or anything, but it feels so great to say im going back to MY house and not im going to my mums house, its all mine!

 anyway, @ work atm, shouldnt even be on gothopia w00t lol

later on

Stevo

p.s. ALL MY MATES KEEP IN FKIN TOUCH drop me an email, ill give you my number! layters

 LOTS OF SWEARING (dont say i didnt warn you)

the whole fucking world is full of bullshit cunts, noone can ever letyouhave a good time, some cunt always has to ruin it, even when your days going perfect, some cunt does something to make it shit, its fucking bollox, is it in human nature to ruin things? to make other people feel as bad as you do? its fucking pure bollox, everyone has there own fucking problems to deal with its bullshit and selfish to bring someone down to your level of sadness or depression, thanks to all you cunts i feel like shit, i dont wanna feel like shit, i dont enjoy feeling like shit, but you put me there, i hope your fucking happy, coz i certainly well fucking aint, shove your fucking problems, your issues, your sadness, your depression, right up your fucking arse, coz i aint listening to any more of this shit, im done with all your bollox, id rather live a life never talking to noone that to talk to people like you, go fuck yourselfs...

delete this or whatever, i needed to bitch 

jess/beutifully broken/ whatever, got owned today aroun 16:21 when i had a conversation with her other other half

Steve - says:
i take it your eric, the one who was involved with jess?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well, it's me eric, but i'm not really involved with jess
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but
Steve - says:
but?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i read your e-mail telling me those stuff about her
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well, we're not even from the same country
Steve - says:
i know, but you was planning to go and see jess right?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
maybe
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i got tons of e-mails
Steve - says:
what i really want to know, is was it jess sending you that email?
Steve - says:
yeah i know my mum prolly sent you one, aswell as a close friend of mine
Steve - says:
there just looking out for me, dont worry about them, i dunnow about you but i dont want no trouble
Steve - says:
but was it you sending that email to jess and was it jess replying?
Steve - says:
because shes trying to tell me it was her friend who sent you it
Steve - says:
what happened there?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
sorry, i'm on a mac and its msn really sux
Steve - says:
i bet
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
keeps logging off
Steve - says:
did you get what i sent?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
no
Steve - says:
teve - says:
what i really want to know, is was it jess sending you that email?
Steve - says:
yeah i know my mum prolly sent you one, aswell as a close friend of mine
Steve - says:
there just looking out for me, dont worry about them, i dunnow about you but i dont want no trouble
Steve - says:
but was it you sending that email to jess and was it jess replying?
Steve - says:
because shes trying to
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
can u send me agin?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
oho ok
Steve - says:
tell me a friend sent it
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
what is she trying?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
let me get it straight
Steve - says:
shes trying to tell me her friend sent that email
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
r you her boyfriend?
Steve - says:
i was up until when i got that email
Steve - says:
about 3 days ago
Steve - says:
actually
Steve - says:
i was her fiancee until about 3 days ago
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well man,
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i think that was her
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
replying
Steve - says:
yeah, it sounded like her
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i'm sorry, i didn't know she had a boyfriend
Steve - says:
mate, dont say sorry, it aint your fault
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
look, i'd not go to see her anyway man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
let's say it was just internet stuff
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
that's why she moved from her mom's house?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
to meet you to get married?
Steve - says:
no, i live in london
Steve - says:
she has been here though
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
oh
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
hmm
Steve - says:
she came over for a month, but was sent back
Steve - says:
i still have some of her things here which i need to send back to her
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
did you pay for her to go?
Steve - says:
no, luckily enough, though i have sent her money in the mean time for her to come back
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
oh
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
wtf man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
it's insane
Steve - says:
how long have you to been having this "internet thing"?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well i know her...it's been 2 years since first time we talked
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
we lost contact
Steve - says:
when did you gain contact again, and when did you start...ermmm...being together
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
mm
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
4 mothns maybe
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
months*
Steve - says:
me and jess was together almost 9
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
=/
Steve - says:
yeah
Steve - says:
sucks
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
maybe she was just playing around i don't know
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but sucks anyway
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i just wonder
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
how did she sent that email to the whole contact list of hers
Steve - says:
i dont know, but she did, and im glad she did
Steve - says:
because if i hadnt of gotten that, i would still be with her
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
sorry
Steve - says:
its alright
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
have you read it .>>>
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says 10:49:48)
maybe she was just playing around i don't know

Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says 10:49:58)
but sucks anyway

Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says 10:50:14)
i just wonder

Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says 10:50:34)
how did she sent that email to the whol
Steve - says:
yeah i got that
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
oh, then man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well at least too good you found it out
Steve - says:
yeah im glad i did, or i would have still been with her, and still sending her money
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
how much have you already sent ?
Steve - says:
i dunnow how much it adds up to
Steve - says:
prolly around $170-180
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
=/
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
really sux man
Steve - says:
it does
Steve - says:
well she had me fooled
Steve - says:
thought she cared for me
Steve - says:
shes also been trying to tell me she doesnt know any eric
Steve - says:
so you may wanna talk to her about that
Steve - says:
i can show you the email that was in if you want
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
sure
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
just to make this "mask" fall
Steve - says:
its in a private message on a picture sharing site, so if you want il give you access to my account so you can read all of the messages shes sent me, theres about 4 or 5
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
ok
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
if that's ok to you
Steve - says:
you need to know, its fine with me, theres a few in there before she sent this email to everyone, can look at those 2 if you want
Steve - says:
the profiles "jessika" and "beutifly_broken" are hers
Steve - says:
go to www.gothopia.com
Steve - says:
username is "Haha" password is "smeghead1"
Steve - says:
on the top row, click my account, then messages
Steve - says:
theyre all there
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lemme check this out
Steve - says:
ok
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
it's even funny
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i'll take some screen shots
Steve - says:
ok
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
ok i logged off i've already seen enough
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
too good i didn't take it seriously
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she talked to you exactly the same way she talked to me
Steve - says:
yeah
Steve - says:
doesnt suprise me
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but hey
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
just to make sure and not make a mistake
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
can you send one pic of hers for me to se if it's the same person?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
see*
Steve - says:
sure thing gis a sec
Steve - says:
i could go one better actually, lemme find it, i have a picture of me and her together, i could turn my cam on and show you that if you wanted
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
no no, don't need to show yourself man, i trust you, i know it's her anway
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
anyway
Steve - says:
ok
Steve - sends:
 

Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
even though msn on mac doens't got web cam option
Steve - says:
ahh alright then
 
  Transfer of "jess.JPG" is complete.
 
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
you a good person
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
too bad she did it to you
Steve - says:
shit happens
Steve - says:
ive had some real fucked up relationships, this is nothing i cant handle
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
hmm look
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
you deserve it
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i mean
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i deserver to see
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
deserve*
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i'll send you a pic of hers
Steve - says:
ok
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
check this out
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline sends:
 
    Open(Alt+P)
 
  You have successfully received C:Documents and SettingsdaveMy DocumentsMy Received Filescloseup!!.JPG from Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline.
 
Steve - says:
i have this one i think
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline sends:
 
    Open(Alt+P)
Steve - says:
ive got that one
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Steve - says:
and a few others like it
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
it's hers
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well
 
  You have successfully received C:Documents and SettingsdaveMy DocumentsMy Received Filesme and mom2.JPG from Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline.
 
Steve - says:
dunnow if you got it, but she sent me a closup of her boobs aswell
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
hahhahah!
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
yes she did
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
-.-
Steve - says:
thought so
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
check this out
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline sends:
 
    Open(Alt+P)
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Steve - says:
yup
Steve - says:
thats the one
 
  You have successfully received C:Documents and SettingsdaveMy DocumentsMy Received Filesboobsss.JPG from Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline.
 
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
anyway you must know we never met personally
Steve - says:
yeah
Steve - says:
lucky for you
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Steve - says:
she was so moany i swear...but anyway
Steve - says:
oh yeah
Steve - says:
also did she ever tell you about how her dad hit her?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
yes
Steve - says:
it never happened
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
Oo
Steve - says:
i was talking to her mother about it all
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
Oo
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
this girl is insane
Steve - says:
indeed
Steve - says:
i sent her mother a rather nasty email one day when jess said he hit her
Steve - says:
and nexxt time i spoke to her mother, i got a whole different story
Steve - says:
and jesses mothers story is much more believable, it sounds more likely to happen
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
mmm just tell me something
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
you probably know this
Steve - says:
ok
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
why was she kicked from her house?
Steve - says:
ahh
Steve - says:
me and you have got different storys
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
Oo
Steve - says:
she told me she had a job in milwaukee
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
nooooo
Steve - says:
so she was going there so she could get money faster to come back here
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
no no
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i spoke to her mom
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she said
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
so
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she's in wisconsin
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
so they said
Steve - says:
thats the one
Steve - says:
notmilwakee
Steve - says:
sorry
Steve - says:
milwaukee was on the new thismorning
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
oh  heheh
Steve - says:
and i dont really know america all that well
Steve - says:
yeah, she told me she had a job in wisconsin
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
me neither
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she said she was kicked
Steve - says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
her mom kinda confirmed
Steve - says:
she needs proffesional help
Steve - says:
i dunnow, i was told she had a job
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well she could probably have lied to me
Steve - says:
she could have lied to both of us
Steve - says:
maybe she found another bloke in wisconsin
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
probably
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
who knows
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
but wtf man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
you gave her a ring
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
-.-
Steve - says:
we got engaged whilst she was here
Steve - says:
like 2 days before she had to go back
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
has she went there just to see you?
Steve - says:
yeah
Steve - says:
about 4 months ago she came here
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
it makes sense
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
'cause she told me
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she had a lot of friends in england
Steve - says:
lol, the only person she knew in england was me
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
LOL
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she told me that once i called her
Steve - says:
damn
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
it's not too long ago
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
2 wekks
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
weeks*
Steve - says:
where abouts are you from?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
brazil
Steve - says:
ahh fair enough
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit man...
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i still don't believe it lol
Steve - says:
neither did i, i come in from college and find an email in my inbox that was meant for you
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
if you want
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
what a jerk she is though
Steve - says:
indeed
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
how could anyone send an e-mail to the whole contact list of his...
Steve - says:
i know, such a stupid mistake, i dont even know how to send emails to more than one person
Steve - says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
hahahah neither do i
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i saw ur e-mail this morning
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
'cause she sent that e-mail to my work's email
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
if you want i can send you some emails of hers i got here
Steve - says:
yeah, only 1 or 2 though
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
ok hold on
Steve - says:
doint want to be invading yourpirvacy
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
don't worry
Steve - says:
you dont mind if i send thos conversation to a few people do you?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
u better not man
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i don't want to be involved no more
Steve - says:
you wont be
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
if you do that she'll probably call me
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i already sent you the email
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i even got the email she said she was kicked
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
go check that out
Steve - says:
i just did
Steve - says:
lol
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
lol
Steve - says:
and if she calls you, just ignore her calls, i just need to tell jess that i know shes lyeing
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
well, do whatever you need then brother, but i repeat and it's also important we never met and i dunno we would
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
if we would*
Steve - says:
i know, and im glad you never met with her, for your sake
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
too bad
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she even looked like a cool person
Steve - says:
yeah she did
Steve - says:
i think shes a bit fucked up in the head
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
probably or she hasn't decided  what she wants do to of her life
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
did u read the email?
Steve - says:
yeah i did
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i sent you that first part 'cause
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
she sent me that
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
after sending the one speaking it wasn't her
Steve - says:
yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
how old r u brother?
Steve - says:
im 17
Steve - says:
you?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
21
Steve - says:
fair enough
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
look we're both young
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
there will be lots of bad realationships and good as well
Steve - says:
yup
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
that's why i like brazilian woman hehe
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
they're not that complicated
Steve - says:
lol yeah
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
you only study?
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
don't work yet?
Steve - says:
nope, im in college
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
good what course?
Steve - says:
games design, computer engineering and music production
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
shit man very nice
Eric may not respond because he appears to be offline says:
i'm a graphic designer
Steve - says:
cool cool

So, as you read, i got fucked, all who knew me knew i was engaged, and though flirty, i would never play aruond with my fiancee, well i didnt need to, because Jess / Immy / Immortalallover, my fiance, was with some other guy behind my back, now, the way i found this out is i come home yesterday, and had en email from her sitting in my email box, only it wasnt the kinda emaikl she wanted to send me it was an email to her other boyfriend, bvut she aciently sent it to everyone in her email list, includnig me, it said:

hello my darling!! oh i miss you so much how are you how are things with you? oh i miss you so much thats wonderful darling you'll be here soon how wonderful that will be i cant tell you how happy that makes me feel its put a perminate smile on my face oh sweety i love you soooooo sooo much and yes you can call me anytime i want you to call! im still sick i just got out of the hospital yesterday so im doing better but my thoughts are always drifting to you sweety i miss you so much i but your email has excited me greatly i will finally be in your arms soon how wonderful oh eric my darling i love you with all my heart i truely do you are everything to me and i want you to know that and im so sorry about all this i  didnt want this to happen either but soon enough we can talk online ill have my fone back i miss you sweety know that you are the one and only thing in my head and my heart everyday all day long and you are my dreams at night i love my darling with all my heart and soul hope to hear from you soon

 yeah, i wanna know who the fuck eric is too, but as for that, im not bothered, just thought id warn peaople to steer clear of her

Bye for now

steve 

anyway,havnt wrote a blog before...so RARR here it is

 how many of you reading this would say you had a bad life? i can bet you 9/10 people will, and it makes me laugh, how so many people think theyve had it so hard, now comes the more interesting question....how many of you have cut yourself because you thought you had a bad life? 3/10 maybe? see, when it comes to that, im not laughing at the question, im laghing at the people whom cut thereselve.

 you all completely contradict yourself when you take up such an action as that "omg, when i was you my dad took away my lollipop, oh whatever shall i do" then you go and slice your wrists, and / or try to commit suicide.

 so, if your life has been so fucking bad, that all you want is for it to get better...why the fuck would you make it worse by cutting yourself, it aint gonna make nothing easier, all you do is make scars for peaople to stare at, your not big, your not smart, your stupid, you telling me you cant face up to your problems like the other 7/10 people can? bullshit with a capital b...

which brings me onto my next point, looking at what ive said, and how cutting yourself doesnt make it any better, how many of you who do cut yourself, do it for attention? 10/10...my view anyway, there are other ways you know, maybe, socialise? maybe...talk to people? maybe stop being so fucking stupid? or maybe you should just kill yourself already, fuck knows....

Ok im done, later on

Steve