DATE: 24 Sep 2006, 7:18 pm / MOOD: Lonely

I just got back from chicago my city, my love my only home. I have rekindeled old flames there and made some new ones. I was there for a week and i have come realize that is where i belong. The city cried for me when i was leaving. A bad storm swept the city and delayed my flight by hours.

I found my home. the place that makes me happy. I went to practice my first few hours i was there. seeing old friends, my brotherz(not really but they might as well be because i love them as if they were). So i plan on moving back within a few months.

So if any of you live in the area there and you see a black grandam flying around blasting heavy methal and a bunch on people head banging in the car ... thats me(grins devilishly). I'm coming back and nothing can stop me. THIS Violence Resonates Inside of ME I can't SEDATE All This RAGE my thoughts OBSESS!

I'm going to cause trouble WHOO..

Good Evening Yours forever

-Lestat De Lioncourt



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DATE: 11 Aug 2006, 10:52 pm / MOOD: Full of life

I Fell into a hole recently. I emmerged a stronger and better person, if thats possable. I started to realize what is important right now. Then....I decided to quite smoking.

I feel stronger and better than before. My singing voice has returned 100%. But the only thing i have to deal with is the withdrawls. I get really moody. Things piss me off. I have to be cool i guess and get through it..... Oh yeah.

- Lestat

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DATE: 09 Aug 2006, 2:35 am / MOOD: Bored

Its 2 :18 am i can't sleep somethings have been bothering me. my inner demons are surfacing. They are making me feel psychotic, sysoprenic, and manic depressive. I have been battling thm for 2 years. I had friends family girlfriends the list goes on, to keep me grounded. But now i am alone and they are coming out like the flood destroying a indestruclible city. I have put it off for now and i ask myself these quiestions.

Am i a good person? I have borken 9 1/2 of the ten commandments. I never used to feel remorse or regret with anything i have done before. But i feel i have made poor choices and i plan to lay these things to rest.

On another note i feel moving to arizona was a mistake. I left my friends and family there so that i could pusue selfish dreams. But it is for nothing. I may just move back home bye the end of the year or later. I am not sure what to do on that. Chicago is my heart and i feel lifeless without it.

I have changed alot. i have become a colder and harder person, something i never wanted to happen. This place is my own personal hell. Being alone is something i cannot come to accept. I begin to wonder if god hates me or is it somethign i have done? Maybe it is i don't know.
(laughs)

Its funny i walk around the mall or anywhere i go to run errands and i see famlies together. They laugh, joke with one another, they are happy. I see girls with their husbands or boyfriends walking hand in hand. Smiling at one another and i remember what it was like to have that. I miss it. What kills me the most is to see a girl looking at me a flirting with me. I return them to her and think to myself. Your beatiful,you warm my ice cold hart, but i cannot be with you because I myself am not whole I could offer you little in return.

The only thing I can thinkk of to do too right this is to pick myself up, mend my wounds, and fix myself emotionally. I thought maybe writting will help. The paper listens.

With that said this is Max Payne, Aka Lestat.

Any suggetions please feel free to post them i will not mind.



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