04 Aug 2010, 1:49 am

I do indeed have a facebook. Who doesn't these days? I am currently on my phone and shutting down for the night, but find me through my email: chariotoiseau@yahoo.com

04 Aug 2010, 12:35 am

It's Barry. Gabrielle. Etc. I can't get into my old account.

I've missed you.

08 Jun 2009, 6:35 am

Saying hello. It's been a while.

24 Mar 2009, 6:03 pm

just cause i saw you crept my page and you seemed pretty cool.

06 Mar 2009, 4:34 pm

Hahahaha, how about I send you some through messages, okay :P

05 Mar 2009, 4:35 pm

Hahaha, I knew that silly :P

I would be very happy to give you some more pictures, but it would be a lot easier if you told me what kind. I'm free to do whatever you ask for.

05 Mar 2009, 7:34 am

Well ,what kind of picture would you like?

04 Mar 2009, 4:24 pm

Oh, thank you! I love taking pictures, so that probably won't be a problem. :P

I promise! I will never forget anyone who gave me support :)

04 Mar 2009, 3:13 pm

I understand what you mean. I love and adore writing, but when someone tells me the pain they're going through, I'm always at a loss for words. I feel helpless, because there humanity goes again, being cruel when it need not be and there is not a single thing I can do to stop it or make it go away.

I understand you care :)

Thank you so much for what you said. I posted new pictures after you said that, embracing my body. :) I tried not to be shy so I could really analyze what you said.

Besides, I want to be suicide girl one day. I need to get over my fears. :)

04 Mar 2009, 12:39 pm

Ah, I was supposed to tell you my past. Such a pathetic thing, really. My father beat my mother constantly right after I was born. He left when I was 4. I continued to see him and since he couldn't beat my mother anymore, he started to beat me. I was so little, so I was so confused. And sometimes he was a very good daddy, so I just couldn't bring myself to say I hate him. Most of the time he told me I was stupid and ugly. Just like my mother. I eventually lost contact and I have not talked to him since. My mother had remarried and sadly, we found out he was not much better, He treats me fine, but he drove my mother to a failed suicide attempt. Thank god. I have no idea waht I would do without my mother. But during all this, at the young age of ten, my friend's sixteen year old older brother had started to rape me. I had just escaped my father, my mother was in a hospital for almost killing herself, I was afraid of being left alone, and this older boy who said he would protect me suddenly starts doing this. He would tell me I was pretty, but if I kicked or fought, he would tell me I was hideous and that he did this only because he knew no other man would ever want to touch me. I don't think it is possible for one to feel all that pain at once, so I did really what any sane person would do, I went insane. I started to harm myself and tried many times to kill myself, but would chicken out at the end and would purposely not take enough pills. I would be sick as a dog though. I was mess. I didn't look very pretty, I was constantly fighting with my mother, and I just had no will. But finally I picked myself, slapped myself, and got some help. I've been to counslors and that has helped very much. I'm still quite sad girl honestly and try to hide it, but some of the pain is still there. No one really knows what it's like to be so far at the bottom.