DATE: 14 Aug 2011, 5:50 pm / MOOD: Don't Know

Just stopped by to see what's going on. In case you haven't guessed, I'm not around much. 

 

Anyway, for those who still peek on, if you know me and miss me, send a message and I'll be glad to get in touch. 

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DATE: 13 Apr 2010, 3:53 pm / MOOD: Crappy

I used to be--

But now I'm not.

No, now I'm something new

I can't believe

Don't understand

How this could be true

I used to be

I wish I was

How could I wish to not

Turn back a bit

Becoming less

But unblamed for your rot

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DATE: 16 Nov 2008, 8:03 pm / MOOD: Happy

I'm posting a blog. It's been quite a while. Much has changed. Much hasn't. I'm acing my classes, have a job at a restaurant, am able to use my right arm.

 So Love told me about something here and I decided to take a gander at the site. It's almost surreal that I've been constantly changing and I come back here and...

 It's so much the same it's eerie.

 Surprised I'm still number three blogger. GET BUSY, PEOPLE.

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DATE: 12 Aug 2008, 8:22 am / MOOD: Full of Life

http://www.publiquip.com/photo/Ford-Boom-Truck-ev.jpg

 

Ladies and gentleman, that is a boom truck. No doubt you've seen these monsters lurking around construction trucks, their multi-ton cranes lifting high into the sky.

 At ten thirty this last Thursday morning as I was riding my over-sized pink bicycle, looking for work, one collided into my right side.

 And yes, I'm still alive. I will heal with (hopefully, as long as I'm careful) no lasting damage.

I could easily have died. I had a concussion, have broken bones. The bike is totaled. But I'm okay.

 Be grateful for life today. After all, there are boom trucks everywhere.

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DATE: 27 Jun 2008, 6:49 pm / MOOD: Full of Life

Okay, so I'm here to rant.

Life. The Decisions came today. It was negative. For some reason, I am at peace with that, although I do feel myself filled with some strange energy. Not necessarily a negative one, but still. I feel the urge to roller blade and it's nearly ten in the evening, I haven't eaten since about two, and I biked seven miles today. But there it is.

This are so confusing. I'm feeling somewhat odd. Not crazy, really. No, just... craving. Deeply. More than food, more than water, more than anything right now. I want. I crave. So much at once, that I feel as though it should be burning my skin, this need for sensations beyond my grasp. Pain, pleasure,  breathlessness, burning limps, acid blood, cool water, hot wax, falling, pulling, pushing, screaming, howling at the moon, laughing wildly at nothing and everything, seeking new territory, rediscovering old, pushing myself to the edge and back a million times over until I should be dead, but with this energy, it's all possible. All possible.

 But I know it will go to waste. A pity, that. I finally have my body back, look and feel better than I have in ages In Spite of Everything. In spite of chest pains so bad I've actually cried out in pain, in spite of the arguing. In spite of changing my world. I have this life, this pulsing Life. And it will come to nothing.

C'est la vie, right? 

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DATE: 07 Jun 2008, 5:15 pm / MOOD: Other

We went to the store, shopped a bit. And then I cleaned for about seven hours with a break only to eat. I went crazy. Two bathrooms, kitchen, dining area, pantry, hallways, living room, windows... Yep, I'm nuts. And now we go to a Bliss Party. Yay. Work tomorrow, possibly.

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DATE: 06 Jun 2008, 5:52 am / MOOD: ^_^

Note: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO YOUR BAD GRAMMAR AND/OR POETRY BEING INSULTED. If you continue anyway, tough luck.

 

 

 

So I thought it'd been decided to discourage poetry in blogs? Not that I mind it occasionally, but five badly written poems in a row is a little extreme.

Again, we all know that while I'm picky about my own grammar, I'm usually pretty understanding of others'. Let's not forget (I love you) Stevo's once beyond-atrocious grammar back in the day. Now, it's just atrocious. But still understandable and it's not like he TRIES to be a writer. He doesn't go around posting crap like 'your the one who makes me keep writeing/ about way you broke me heart/ cut me down to little pieces/ tore my feeling all apart!!' In fact, I have the distinct feeling Stevo would laugh at such emo dribble.

Not that I'm saying my poetry is the be-all-end-all, but come on! If you're going to go so far as to COPYRIGHT crap, make sure it's at least good enough that people will WANT to steal it. And post it somewhere it's not an eyesore or annoyance.

We have a poetry section for a reason. Send your crap there and on the chance that it's approved, we can all at least ignore it when we jump on the front page, not seeing pathetically cliche titles with little emote-frowning faces.

To reiterate, there is no shame in being weak in writing. Not everyone can have impeccable grammar/spelling/vocabulary/composition, just like not everyone can calculate sums in their head or sing an aria (or on key at all, for that matter) or even chew gum and walk at the same time. That's right, we're all different. But please don't try being an opera singer if your voice cracks during, "Mary Had a Little Lamb"-- you're just hurting yourself and everyone around you. 

By the way, if you steal that GENIUS verse above

(Your the one who makes me keep writing

about way you broke me heart

cut me down to little pieces

tore my feeling all apart!!)

I will hunt you down and laugh my ass off at how pathetic you are.

 

Yes, I am that much of a bitch.

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DATE: 04 Jun 2008, 5:12 pm / MOOD: Other

One of the girls at work-- Carla (an older woman with an eternal smile on her face and a playful spirit to go with the heavy baggage she's left behind)-- has a theme song. For some reason, it gets stuck in my head quite often. I can see her smile, the way she tosses back her hair and moves her shoulders. "Oh, baby-baby, won't you dance the night away?" It's so very her, the lightheartedness. It's easier to work with her around. Easier to be cheerful going from table to table to table smiling and laughing at stupid jokes and comments. To think she came back to this after losing both her fiance and unborn child... the woman is strong.

 "You're old enough to dance the night away. Dance, dance, dance the night away..."

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DATE: 01 Jun 2008, 8:20 am / MOOD: Other

That's right, folks. I'm here to tell you all about the amazing car I'll be driving soon. It's called the 'smart fortwo'. A tiny little vehicle with amazingly spacious seats, great gas mileage, and excellent safety ratings. Can you believe it?

http://www.smartusa.com/

That's their site. Just look at the little things. I went to the dealership to see them in person and they are just as shown. The only problem is that they're difficult to get. If you order now, you might be waiting years to get yours, they are that popular. But they're inexpensive, too. Ours is 12400, I think. It's a pure.

Oh, and they have cute nicknames, too! White with black cages are 'Pandas', yellow with black are 'Bees', red and black are 'Lady Bugs'. I personally think blue and blacks should be 'Bruisers'. What do you think? Got any other ideas?

(Ours is a black on black-- '(K)night'?) 

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DATE: 31 May 2008, 10:01 pm / MOOD: Other

That phrase is often used by people as a way to shrug off the misfortunes in life-- the breaking of a treasured decoration or technological contraption, the death of a pet or loved one. (Sh)it happens. C'est la vie. Such is life.

If one looks at the meaning of the words, however, you'll see that's not all it has to mean.

Yesterday-- my guy's birthday-- as we were sipping sake and getting ready to head back home for a long night of celebratory activities, I felt the urge to kick back on my cushion and say the French phrase, proving that it can include the good as well as the bad.

Good food, good drink, good company. Such is (my) life.

However, I felt the urge to say the same as the doctor at the ER told me hours before that the results of the tests they did were inconclusive and I would have to see my doctor for further testing, but at least they gave me pills for the pain, right? Again, c'est la vie.

Overall, however, things are looking pretty good. I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. It seems the chances of FSU are better than I'd initially thought. And I am more than ready for it, if that's the case.

By the way, the reason chances are better are due to one AMAZING person to whom I'm eternally grateful. My thirteen day older sister offering to help me with loans and even giving me her own hard-earned cash to help. I hope it doesn't come to that last part; I don't wish to take more from her than she's given over the years. But that I have the love of someone so selfless, so willing to help, and so supportive of me in every way made me weep with gratitude.

Oh yeah. Bitter, sweet, topsy-turvy, wild, funny, unjust, surprising... C'est la vie.

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