today is 7th of march and im very depressed. i have been through a lot and no one seems to care they have hurt my deep rotting soul or my shattered heart. My little brother doesnt understand i cant take screaming or physical threats any more. My mom tries so hard to make me feel better about my appearences and my little sister tries to give me hung everytime she catches me crying or sad in the face. I just really hving an hard time getting through stuff and its just seems that the list gets bigger each time i get up.

I still love my ex, im miss my friends who want nothing to do with me, i blame myself for the death of my baby i carried for almosr two months or three however the fuck it goes, and i cant fight the fear of never able to find my soul mate. Im in debt with my grandparents and close friends, im needing alot of stuff for every day needs, im denial of getting help from any one, and no one will fucking teach me how to drive a goddamn car!!

All i really need is a shoulder to cry on and have someone take my hand and say everything will be alright. im now a single looking girl but im not having any luck in that area either. Im a no longer a virgin and sadly i was not willing either. i dont want some guy thinking thats the only thing he is getting because he will not get in my pants. im lonely girl who cries to find her soul mate and real love that was never based on Roanlds idea of abuse and other dark stuff. i want some one but who?

like in Nickelbacks song off their new cd about finding their soul mate... Im going to be the last one left....

Please send me the way of happiness and a shoulder i can cry on.......

no sex either......not at the moment