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So basically my name is Jessica, people who know me or know of me call me Squishy or Jess. Right now I am just kick'n it lovin life and having a good 'ol time I am not online much anymore except for my college classes.

----Music time----
Lie awake in bed at night and
think about your life
do you want to be different
Try to let go of the truth
the battles of your youth
cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
it's a perfect denial
such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful beautiful lie it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
to wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
don't ask too much the same
cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
it's a perfect denial
such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful beautiful lie it makes me

Everyone is looking at me
I'm running round in circles angry
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
it's a perfect denial
such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful beautiful lie it makes me




--------------------------------------------------------------


I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see?. It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that? I rip back, everytime you tried to steal that.You feel bad? you feel sad? I'm sorry,
Hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife
It dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and it's true I
Hurt too, remember I loved you!

And I've, Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no
And I've, been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no


I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, And told you that I loved you, every
Time I Fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the
Thought of you, the pain just grew and grew! How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you,
It never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked
Up. Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts!

And I've, Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no
And I've, been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no

Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.
And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.
Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.
And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.

And I've, Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no
And I've, been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh
I'm sorry
I'm sorry no, no

Free from the torment of sin

All this I'm giving up

Much as the sun would decide to give in

Explode into orange

And hear all the voices sing praises with hymns

Mark the birth of a change

Free from the torment of sin

All this I'm giving up



It's not me

Buried wreckage my soul

It's not me so who am I now



Over and over again

Light with a sharpened edge 

Cut through the black empty space we call sky

Beginning the cycle that stays

And I know in my heart we all die

Like the day and the night

Like the sun in the sky

All this I'm giving up



It's not me

Buried wreckage my soul

It's not me so who am I now?



Is there another side?

Beyond the black and the white

Place I could meet you by

A place on the other side

I'll let you know when I go

When I'm gone



It's not me 

Buried wreckage my soul

It's not me so who am I now?