 |
VIEWING 1 - 10 OUT OF 13 TOTAL
The Cruelty of War
DATE: 01 Aug 2006, 12:22 pm / MOOD: Disapointed
Why does war always have to be before peace? Why can't people see the horrors of this place? I fight to defend myself, to defend my sisters, And to help the ones I call my brothers I will always follow my heart Follow what it tells me For I wish others to be spared The horrors that young eyes should not befall. I am willing to give my innocence, My life if need be, To wipe clean other's hearts of hatred, fear and violence. Tell me! I want it all to end The nightmares, The screams. Please, Please, Please, I beg you Don't you think we've suffered enough just to keep living this way? Let there be peace, real peace Let it last and let me live.
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Pain
DATE: 07 Jul 2006, 5:04 pm / MOOD: Lonely
SOME ONE...PLEASE READ THIS to everyone who cares enough to read, it hurts so much...this pain i have inside...i don't really know what's wrong but it just hurts so much like if my insides are being torn to shreads...no one really understands me...and no one whould even take the time to get to know me...but may be its me...i don't feel comfortable around people, so i push them away...i just so had to talk to everyone i feel as if i would let everyone down...i don't want to dissappoint, anyone i am trying me best but i just don't know what to do...i have no one to take to how would really understand who would not judge nor be let down by my imperfections... human emotions, so complicated...i just want this pain to stop...i don't want to cry any more... i am not a size 3 and i hate shoping cuz nothing ever fits...and any time i eat anything my dad gives me a funny look or makes some comment about food... my mom is really catholic, but i think church is a joke...the church says no to gays...but i think i might not be stright...i'm afarid of what she would think...of what other people would say...i don't want to be different...i just want to feel normal...but then agaion what it normal right? any time i call my only brother still living in trinidad i feel as if i have done some thing wrong something to offend him...D, i'm sorry i was kind close with another one of my brothers...he's in canada now...when mortal combat now came out, after he watched it, he came back home and told me everything about it, the names of all the charactures and what happend in the movie, i remember that day perfectly and all the names he called because he seemed passionate about it...i really like anime, one in particular, gundam wing, in it i love Trowa and Duo, i told him every thing about it...now he does not even know what it is...i am tired of being hurt and forgotten A1 my last and oldest brother lives in england...he has for a while so i don't really know him that well...he is probally the only one how could get to understand me but we are hardly in touch so a real connection has never been formed...MC *sigh* i have a sister she's older too...i'm the youngest in my family...she's a size 3, she has a rock star boy friend from TAF (tripped and fallen) she has the looks and the personality and simply put perfection...she goes to school in canada...Lee you make me feel sick around you i'm never good enough when compared...we were both artists, her work got framed, put on the wall and shown to everyone who came to our house, my work got a quick congradulations and was then tossed to the side...i didn't take art in school, i didn't want to be in her shadow... i am just so confused about everything...and after having every thing just piled on top of each other...i make myself sick with how i am...alomst every day now i think about killing myself...i've made a list it has about 78 ways of how to die...at this point i would do any thing to make the pain to stop...this way i feel inside... i try...i make plans and go out with my friends but i always feel so awarkward around them...i am the only white one and the only one who isn't a size 3...we have a graduation dinner in my country...its like a prom, except only the graduating class goes...it's a really big deal... i missed mine...i stayed at home and cried... people say the lonelyest place is in the middly of a crowd...that's how i always feel...i hate going out i feel so out of place... i don't know what more i can say, i hurt, deeply. and the pain is unbarable and i just want it to stop...stop... S T O P ! Crying Angel, Fallen Demon Caddy
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Inside Myself
DATE: 25 Jun 2006, 9:13 am / MOOD: Lonely
Silence I like the quiet The sound of nothing The feel of nothing Only peace You say you cannot hear me That is simply because You do not listen I like to be alone To just sit and think Of nothing It brings me such peace It is lonely And may be sad But it is not as painful As being with others Others hurt, they cause pain For that is human nature But in my head In the silence In the peace No one can hurt Me I say who can enter I create My friends And they will always love me So I like the silence And the peace It brings to me No Pain Only lonely caddy
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Confusion
DATE: 25 Jun 2006, 9:03 am / MOOD: Lonely
You confuse me I don't know whether I Should be happy Should want to kill you Or Should go in the corner and cry You confuse me You say you love me But you cause me so much pain It hurts deep inside And to call out your name Would be the deepest sin You confuse me You are my friend Yet you yell so loudly in your silence That I am lost To the meaning of the word You confuse me You say you will always be there Yet the place for you to sit Seems always empty and cold Nothing but a shadow Of you remains But that was never enough To fix a broken soul Only to shatter the pieces further Until nothing is left But the empty hull Of this person You once called "sister"
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Feelings of Me
DATE: 25 Jun 2006, 8:53 am / MOOD: Dont know
Nothing's changed You're still the same Even with time apart We always fall back To the way we were Together too long We'll kill each other But you could always Get everyone on your side So I'll die first I want to disappear Away from you Run far away and hide But I can't do that I'm under age You need to drive I want to disappear Any where from here Away from your screaming Stop shouting I want to disappear So they won't stop and stair At the tears Running down my face I want to disappear Make it as if I were never here In the first place Just drop off The face of the earth And take all the memories With me But for fear that you say "Where is she?" And come looking... I'll stay Rapped inside myself Only letting go The words I write on paper To show how I feel Because you can't read The hearts of others The pain you can't see Nothingness Empty Me.
View Entry | Leave A Comment
I Hate
DATE: 21 Jun 2006, 6:46 am / MOOD: Angry
I HATE . . . I HATE so close to myself That it hurts my heart But that pain I must bear Because i hate unwaveringly With a passion That will never DIE ! ! ! I AM NOT YOUR SERVENT DO NOT TREAT ME AS SUCH I cannot make you feel pain here But I will HATE you until I DIE You are pure EVIL Hidden under a mask of LIES I wish you nothing But the pain you have cuased me I do not pray for your DEATH Rather that you live forever And suffer eternally I HATE . . . Yet "HATE" i can no longer use Because it does not fully describe This emotion I . . . Caddy
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Infantile!
Nobody!
DATE: 16 Jun 2006, 5:19 am / MOOD: Other
I am nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
View Entry | Leave A Comment
Quiet or Lould
DATE: 16 Jun 2006, 5:11 am / MOOD: Dont know
Shadows are always in the shadow of someone else. Someone who is better, stronger more talented, beautiful and self absorbed than any one will ever see the shadow to be. One could be invisible and unwanted, unless of course something is needed, then you are required, but not for long, then gone again. Being invisible. That quite observer who notices everything but is not noticed. It could be worse. You could be big, odd and stand out. Noticed and laughed at. That could be worse, but at least people would notice you. Well at least that's what one would hope. Yes, they do notice but not you, just the impression of you. It's an endless debate in my head which is better, quite or loud, but either way the loneliest place is in the middle of a crowd. Caddy PS:...to be quiet or loud is not the issue... the point rather is thatwhat you say have meaning. If the word you speak hath meaning, heardby one or one million, it remains, lasting, enriching the people whohear it.
View Entry | Leave A Comment
A Fragile Life
DATE: 11 Jun 2006, 10:11 am / MOOD: Other
A Fragile Life Proud bird, stand strong Spread your wings and fly For those of us who cannot Fly away far Before you too are caught In this web of lies We have spun for ourselves Tall tree, bow to no man Touch the sky with your branches For those of us who are too small Touch the heavens Before your branches are cut To heat the limbs of these men Who show you no respect Innocent child, laugh now Laugh with all your heart and soul For those of us who have lost our smiles Laugh out loud Before the day comes when you realize There is nothing in this world But pain and sorrow Then proud bird You will fall in weakness And your wings shall be clipped Then tall tree You will bend to man And your branches shall be burnt Then innocent child You will cry-out in pain And your voice shall be silenced Death shall then be your release, As it is mine. Caddy
View Entry | Leave A Comment
|
