The Red Violin, Saw, Hostile, The Faculty, The Faces of Death Series, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, SLC Punk, The Fast and the Furious 1-3, The Lost Boys, Interview With a Vampire, Underworld 1-2, VanHelsing, Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Saw 1-3, Vampire Hunter D, The Mummy 1-2, Pirates of The Carribean, The Da vinci Code, The Crow, Lord of the Rings, War of the Worlds, Sleepy Hollow, Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Corpse Bride, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Boogey Man, The Ring, The Ring 2, It, Halloween, Hollow Man, Hell Boy, The Omen, Scampur, Bruce Almighty, Rose Red, Final Destination 1&2, Kill Bill, 300

Static-X, Ten Year, Kittie, Slipknot, Mudvayne, Atreyu, AFI, As I Lay Dying, Lamb of God, Marilyn Manson, Motograter, Incubus, System of A Down, Smashing Pumpkins, Beastie Boys, Twizted, KoRn, Senses Fail, Shadows Fall, Under Oath, Nirvana, The Todys, Staind, Deftones, Flaw, Ghost Machine, Godsmack, Linkin Park, Pink Floyd, REM, Flogging Molly, The Ramones, The Killers, A Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails, The Murderdolls, Sublime, Perfect Hate, Mars Volta, Disturbed, Cradle Of Filth, Metallica, Garbage, Tool, Rob Zombie, Rammestien, Evanescence, Tech N9ne, ICP, Unearth, Lamb of God, Pantera, Skynard, Anti-Flag, Bad Religion, Bad Company

Poe, Anne Rice, Stephen King

View All My Groups

Most of the time, I'm pretty lost, I'm trying to forget things, push them back, I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory some are easier than others, and some never leave. But it comes with depression.

I'm dependent, I'd never be okay on my own.
Depression kills me, I don't know why, but it does.
All I need is something to strive for/someone to hold on to, to believe in, to love or care about and for them care about, and love me, in order to be happy.

I hate the government, I hate the lies, I hate the war, I hate selfish people that don't give a shit about anyone but themselves, I hate religion, I hate how sex is used to sell things as simple as shampoo. The world sucks. I want to say fuck the world, it should be cut off. I know it's the best solution. But I just can't do. I've tried.

So now I spend my time searching for the good things and people in this world, trying to convince myself things aren't as bad as they seem.

I'm thick, beautiful, and 6'1''. I do not suffer from low self-esteem. If anything I suffer from high self-esteem. I love myself, not many people have been through what I've been through, seen what I've seen, accomplished what I have, are as talented, are as good of a friend, are as good as a lover/girlfriend, are more true and genuine as me. Because of my high self-esteem, and trust issues, I do have some selfish tendencies. But I look at it like this, the only person you will ALWAYS have, no matter what, is yourself and I'm not at the point yet to where if I lost everyone that I love and care about I wouldn't be okay. I'm selfish because I need to be. I need to take advantage of every fucking opportunity that I can, to be a better me, to improve my skills and/or knowledge. I think about myself because I need to. I can't fucking worry about people all the time.
I'm not jealous of people that have have accomplished more than me, are more talented than me, wiser than me, or are what I consider "better" than me in any way shape or form. I'm truly happy for them. I do not curse or swear or wish bad things on them, like others have done to me.

I don't want to be anyone but myself, and that's good because that is who I will always be.

electric guitar, acoustic guitar, stand-up bass, singing, painting, sketching/drawing, writing, sudoku puzzles, reading, video games, hanging out with friends, swimming, listening to music, watching movies, going to concerts, and anime.